Freedom On Toast

So, last night I went to see Big Al and heard his presentation - which included how to effectively communicate - and how to manipulate (doesn’t that sound awful?) with a few simple words.

Now, I am not a particularly manipulative person and wasn’t sure I could really use the techniques he taught even though, I have to admit, they didn’t FEEL very manipulative and I am quite sure they are effective.

So as I sat and pondered how I could or would use my new-found manipulative communication skills, I thought about a few key phrases he used.

1.  “I’m curious…” - Geared to get people talking openly.

2.  “Would it be okay if…”  - Geared to get people to say yes.

3.  “There are two types of people in the world…” - Geared to get the person to pick the option that sounds more socially acceptable.

Then the light bulb went off.  You see, I have the very unfortunate opportunity to speak with the IRS about my 2007 tax returns.  Now mind you, they were prepared by a professional accountant and all the “i”s are dotted and “t”s are crossed.  So I am really not all that worried.  Our records are sound.  But nonetheless, it will no doubt require hours of putsy meetings, calls and who knows what and over how much time- something I frankly don’t have an excess amount of.

So here’s the plan.  During our first meeting, I’m using Big Al techniques.

“I’m curious, Mrs. IRS Tax Lady, why would you want to audit someone who has impeccable records?”

Or how about…

“Would it be okay if we charged you for our time and expense?”

Or my favorite Big Al technique…

“There are two types of people in the world.  Those that pick on small business owners who have always worked, always paid their taxes and always contributed positively to society and those who appreciate a hard working family when they see one.

Honestly, with all the corruption we have seen in the headlines doesn’t the IRS have anyone more…substantial to pick on?  Geez.

So hats off to Big Al.  The presentation was good and I’ll be trying my new-found techniques any day now.  I know that wasn’t the intention of the presentation, but I see no reason why the communication skills I learned can’t be applied to all aspects of life.

To learn more about Big Al and all his really wonderful (I mean that) teachings, visit www.FortuneNow.com

Our daughter who is 16 was recently asked to write a paper in school describing something in detail.  She choose to describe her dreams.  How cool is that?

She has been exposed to many personal development masters, including Michael Clouse whom she had the honor to meet.  It was shortly after this meeting that she really started to think about her dreams and put them on paper and in her dream book.  Thank you Michael for inspiring that!

Here’s her paper…

Once Upon a Dream

The first time I walked into that open arena my eyes lit up like the suns hello in the morning. I couldn’t believe that we were in the third row. This would not be my first time seeing them but every time they came back they got better and better. It’s a kind of attraction when I see they’re coming.   I wonder,  “what will they bring this time?”   Like Santa Clauses’ present bag, they would reach their hands into red velvet soft bag and give me a show that makes smile from ear to ear. The show was amazing how this person could do that, and how smooth it was, like they have done it a thousand times, which they probably have. But to them it’s another day to make a little girl like me smile. Every act was like a new day to me; the way they would move and do their tricks amazed me. I was like a little girl in a candy shop with a million dollars, the possibilities were endless. This is the cirque life and this is just the beginning.

A dream is merely an image you see when you are sleeping.  Or an ambition, a cherished desire in your life.  Well most of us at this age are starting to think about colleges and our future, well I could say I have known for awhile and yes I could tell you what college I am planning on going to but you wouldn’t believe me. I was at the age of 8 when all of this started. It wasn’t my first Cirque show but it was still amazing. But this time it made my mind click, like it was a clock that had been broken for many years and then all of a sudden started working again. Right then and there, at the show, I decided I wanted to be a Cirque performer when I grew up. Well all of us have had dreams, like when we were all little we wanted to be a little ballerina who wore the little pink tutu, or a police man who had that golden shinny badge that you thought was the coolest thing ever. And now you have this idea in your head that you were really going to be a fireman or whatever you dreamed of when you were little. And I still to this day want to be a Cirque performer and I am living my dream, taking those steps to reach my ultimate goal!

The months went by like normal and then one day my mom said are you ready for circus camp, and I thought she was joking. I thought there was no such thing as a circus camp, and she was crazy. But she wasn’t lying.  We were driving past all this new scenery to me, the trees green as new grass and the road as smooth as the sky. The whole way there I was excited. And when my mom turned into this empty parking lot with this big green building in the back I started to laugh.  I did not think that the little green building was a circus. There was no pinstriped tent or clowns.  The crowds of people were here for the same reason I was. As I stepped into the building I was just ready to get through the day. But as the day went on I really started to love circus more and more. Like with a mom and a newborn, the love grew on me over time. So the week went by, every night I would go to sleep early hoping that I would be able to get to circus faster. In the morning I was like a hummingbird. The way its wings move so fast you can’t even see them, I felt amazing.  Well the week ended and so did camp, and all my family came over for dinner one night. And there was something missing.  A piece of me was left behind. It was like when you eat a pizza without cheese or the sauce, it doesn’t work without the other.  And that was me.  I was the pizza with no sauce.  My mom says that the night my family was over I wasn’t with everyone; she couldn’t find me. So she came up to my room and found me crying, the tears rolling down my face like the tires on a car.  She says that I was upset that I didn’t have circus camp anymore and I said I wouldn’t ever come out of my room. Well it turns out that the place that held circus camp also has a year-round circus school! When those words came out of my mother’s mouth it was like I was reborn. I swear I could hear angles singing like they do in those cheesy Christmas movies you watched when you believed in Santa Clause. My life was finally complete; my pizza found its sauce.

My dream was coming together.  I was taking those steps.  I went from an audience member to a want-to be to a performer, to a performer. I only have two more steps; to become a student performer, and a professional performer. Like I said before I already know what I want to do with the rest of my life, I’ve known for awhile. I know what college I want to attend and how to get to where I belong. I’ve even had those people who think your dream sucks and will fail. In the 8^th grade I rode my unicycle in front of my whole 8^th grade class. And only 5 people clapped. I went home that night and cried. After that people teased me throughout the year calling me a freak and other horrible names. I would go home from school almost every day and cry. I tried to switch schools many times but it just wasn’t worth it. And I am finally opening up again hoping people will accept me for what I do and won’t go back to what they use to do. I’m never going to let other people push my dreams around; they are my dreams, not theirs. So my next step is to get into a circus college. And even though I’ve gone through rough parts and am where I am, it gave me character, it made me who I am today, and I hope other people learn from my experiences and take my same steps.

As most people say, “reach for the stars” and don’t stop until you reach your dreams, and if things get in your way just push past. Today I am living my dream or at least most of it.  I have circus practice three days a week, and every time I’m there it’s like another chapter in my dream story. When I perform, it’s like I am that person in the Cirque show that made me want to become what I am today.

Bravo girl!  I am proud of you and excited for you to see your full dreams come true.

Love, Mom 

My next Toastmasters Speech…

Life is Like a Circus

Some Moms are soccer Moms. Some Moms are hockey Moms. Me, I am a circus Mom. I spend about 10 hours a week at the circus. The real circus. My 16 year old daughter has been going to a program in St. Paul called Circus Juventas for about 10 years now. She started by riding a unicycle and now takes many classes including Flying Trapeze. So over my 10 years I have had the privilege of learning many lessons from these talented students that apply to everyone’s life.

1. Take balance – just as my daughter learned to balance on a unicycle, we all have to learn balance in our lives. This sounds so much easier than it really is. But without balance, life loses some of it’s zest.

For several years I worked in the Hennepin County Attorney’s Office as a victim advocate. My caseload consisted of child sexual and physical abuse cases, working with children who had witnessed domestic violence and homicide cases. I really enjoyed this job but over time I lost my balance. Often we don’t really realize we are out of balance until something happens. In my case, I was standing in line waiting to order my daily large, skim vanilla latte with no foam when the lady in front on my turned around and said, “Hi, how are you?” Now, to most everyone else in the world this would be deemed as a nice comment. Me? I instantly thought the woman must be mentally ill. For nobody is THAT nice. Now I immediately realized my flawed thinking and laughed at myself – and put in my 2 weeks notice shortly after that.

We all need balance. In our physical health, mental health, family life, spiritual life, and fun! Without it – well, we think everyone ELSE is mentally ill!

2. Juggling – sometimes life just throws a lot our way and we have to decide which balls to catch. And even with our best efforts we may not catch them all. But organization and planning DO help. If you can look ahead a bit and plan for what’s coming your way, you are more likely to be able to juggle the many tasks at hand. Forget that multi-tasking idea. That was developed by some Corporate mucky-muck as a way to get more done. But in truth, steadfast focus will help you with all your juggling needs. After all, you don’t see a juggler multi-tasking! If all the balls were thrown in the air at once he or she would surely miss most of them.

3. Believe you can do anything! Well almost anything – we do want to avoid that whole mental illness aspect! Watching these kids try new acts and new equipment always amazes me. They go in believing that anything is possible. That they can fly through the air. That they can do aerial tricks 40 feet in the air. And it’s their belief that propels them forward. How often have you wanted to start something new but had that nagging voice in your head tell you “it’s just not possible.” Learn to ignore that dream stealer and believe that you can achieve your dreams and goals.

4. Take risks. I don’t mean the kind that are going to land you in prison so forget the bank heist. But think about your daily life. When is the last time you really took a risk and stepped outside your comfort zone? Probably not often if you really think about it. We are really creatures of habit and stepping outside of your comfort zone requires taking a risk and frankly that’s not usually all that comfortable. But without taking risks you are hindering your own personal growth. Now the kids at circus often have safety lines attached to them as they take risks but they still have to get past the mental aspect of taking the risk. As adults, we usually don’t have real safety lines but often have a support system that acts like a safety line, encouraging and cheering us on as we learn and grow.

Most, if not all of us, are in some type of business that requires interacting with people. What would your business look like if you took a risk and met just 2 new people a day? Got 2 more business cards a day from people that you aren’t currently doing business with? Would your business grow if you could expose your business to 250 new people a year? Would your sales be up? While taking risks can be scary, the benefits can be enormous!

5. Celebrate your success! As adults we often downplay our achievements. We may go out for dinner when we receive a promotion. Or we may get a pat on the back by a boss. But we really need to CELEBRATE! To achieve your goals you have had to put in a lot of time and effort to see the goal become reality. It’s not just a celebration of the end result but the journey along the way. Just as in circus where the students practice and practice, endure blisters and muscle pains, face their fears and do it all over again and again, we do the same when trying to accomplish our goals. So how do you get your “standing ovation?” What do you do to really acknowledge your journey?

6. And finally, have FUN! Make the most of any situation. If the situation just isn’t positive, find something to learn from the event. FIND something positive however small. There is almost always SOMETHING positive and let’s face it, fun is just more…fun!

So enjoy your own circus. As adults we tend to get wrapped up in the mundane. Take some time to think about your life. Do you live in balance? How’s your juggling? Do you believe? Are you taking risks? Are you celebrating your success? Are you having fun? If not, perhaps a visit to the circus is in order as the circus always brings out the best. And as they say at circus, “May all your days be circus days.”

Meet Derrion Albert.  Not your typical 16 year old teenager.  Honor student.  High School football player.  Walking home from school like thousands of other children.  Killed.  Caught in the middle of two rival gangs at the wrong time.  He was beaten with wooden planks and kicked in the head.  Four young men ages 16-19 have now been charged with his murder.  And it was all caught on video tape by a by-passer.  That in itself is incredibly sad.  But the death of this young man is truly tragic and my heart goes out to his family and all the members of his community who just want peace.

No single effort can change the world.  It truly does take a community.  A commitment.  A dream.  I believe we have heard those very words before.  But Chicago is fortunate.  They have a unique program that IS working to end the violence.   From their website, www.ceasefirechicago.org

CeaseFire is an evidence-based public health approach to reducing shootings and killings. Our methods for reversing the violence epidemic use highly trained street violence interrupters and outreach staff, public education campaigns and community mobilization. CeaseFire is one of the only proven techniques for making neighborhoods safer.

Anyone who knows me knows I want numbers.  We can hypothesize until we are blue in the face, but without the actual numbers, there is no way of knowing progress is being made.  And since this progress saves lives it’s high on the importance scale.

I sometimes don’t like my j.o.b.  Not my business - that’s all great.  But my actual j.o.b.  But I have NOTHING to fuss about when you consider the jobs these folks are doing on a daily - and no doubt nightly - basis.  Having worked in Social Services for the majority of my adult life, I get what it means to be outreach staff and educators.  I can only imagine the stress these folks have.  But even the concept of “street violence interrupters” gives me shivers - and I am not a fearful person.  These folks are IN IT.  They are immersing themselves in the most dangerous situations to save people physically and psychologically.  What an incredible feat.  And it should not go unnoticed.  Because it is this very “hands on” approach that IS most effective.  Sitting down at a conference table just isn’t going to cut it.

So for all the families who have experienced violence - and those who have been so very fortunate to not have experienced violence, just know there are people who are trying to do the right things for the right reasons because the BELIEVE in the cause.  My hats off to all the people who fight this good fight.

So unless you live under a rock, you have probably heard at least some of the debate about what we are going to do about our health care system.  Certainly change comes with a cost - sometimes to our benefit…sometimes not.  But failing to change comes with a cost as well.

I have a friend whom I admire a great deal.  She is a strong, smart woman.  Who is married to a man who became ill.  As if the initial diagnosis wasn’t stressful enough, I am certain she would say “dealing with the system” was at least as stressful if not more so than the actual illness.

Case in point.  She was informed by the insurance company (yes, she is one of the fortunate who have insurance) that she needed to check every statement for accuracy.  Well if you have ever tried to read a medical statement you know they might as well have sent it in Russian.  Looks slightly familiar but who knows what it says.  She was, however, able to read a couple lines, one of which was a charge for $18.00 for 2 Tylenol.  Straight up over the counter - no codeine added.  $18.00 for 2.  Not sure about you, but I can get a bottle of something like 500 at my local Sams Club for 8.99.  Figure roughly 250 doses at $18.00 is $4500.  Yep, I had to do the math twice.  So for a bottle of Tylenol, the hospital is eventually collecting $4500.  Excuse the language, but that is a HELL of a profit.

So needless to say, if Tylenol costs $18.00, the actual treatment cost significantly more.  The hospital’s solution?  They told her she needed to turn over the Deed to her home.  This is so fundamentally wrong it makes my blood boil.  Here are hard working, smart, upstanding citizens who are basically being exploited during a time of crisis in their lives.  My friend, as I said, is strong.  I stand corrected, she is tough as nails.  I have no doubt she told them exactly what region of the universe they could relocate to.  And she didn’t turn over the Deed to her home.  But how many others aren’t that strong willed?  How many, in the face of crisis just do what they are told because they are worried about the life of their loved one?  Personally, I think this should be criminal.  As in a chargeable offense.  And I DARE a hospital to tell me ever to turn over the Deed to my home.  Trust me, I am a lot of things but quiet and passive aren’t two of them.

So, as you listen - and I hope you are - to the continuing debate, don’t forget the bigger picture.  While you may feel secure with your current health care situation, at any given moment, your family or friends may be faced with the unimaginable situation.

Fact:  Everything starts with your mindset.

So it is always very interesting to me when I am speaking with a “possibility thinker” about starting a new home based business when they say, “But it’s going to cost me money.”

This is where I bite my tongue.  I WANT to say, “Did you REALLY think you could start a new business without any investment?”  Or, “Have you taken your medication today because you are obviously actively delusional!”  Or, “Tell me again…you want to make a million dollars a year without putting any money into anything to get you started?”  Or, “So you were planning on starting a business but not actually MAKING any money?”  For I am CERTAIN that my ears must be plugged.  I couldn’t possibly be hearing such statements.  We are, after all, living in a real world, with real people who presumably have real brains.

But what REALLY, REALLY gets me is that these folks are not seeing the big picture.  And it makes me sad.  They are looking at their business as an expense rather than an investment in their future.   They are not seeing their business as a money making opportunity.   They are not viewing their business as the link between their real world and the world of their dreams.  At this point, there are really only 2 options…

1.  Really work on your mindset.  Evaluate your goals.  Consider your aspirations.  Do your homework.  In order to be successful in business you MUST - there is no room for wavering - you MUST consider your business an investment.  If you can’t get yourself to that point, then you have option 2.

2.  Quit.

I know.  It’s not pretty is it.  And I could soft-shoe it and make it sound a little more glamorous, but, well, I’m not going to.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I am not suggesting you max out every credit card you have to get your business going.  Havng a business budget is not only responsible, it’s critical to your long term success.

But I am suggesting you consider your mindset.  Do you view your business as an expense or an investment?

I can provide you with support.  I can provide you with a solid “system” that will move you toward success.  I can provide you with 1:1 coaching.  I can provide you with free online resources.  I can send you a CD that will give you the secrets to success.  But ALL those things won’t help you a bit if you don’t have the right mindset.  That is THE critical component.

So, that said, do you believe your business is an investment or an expense?  And which of the 2 options are you choosing.

I received this in the email today.  I have no idea if it is true and decided that I really didn’t care if it was true or not as the message is a powerful reminder about the choices we make.

Enjoy and Happy Monday!

Washington, D.C.  Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007.
The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes.
During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

I hope you had the chance to see the movie Bucket List that came out a couple years ago.  It was an endearing story of friendship and the power of dreaming.  Well there are many stories of successful people who have written down a list of things they want to accomplish.  This isn’t as much an exercise in goal writing as it is dreaming.  The difference?  There really isn’t a plan written down - AT THIS POINT.  Obviously if you want to accomplish the items you will need a plan and that is where the more serious goal setting comes into play.  But for your bucket list you are just dreaming of things you want to have, experience or ensure.

It’s simple!  Just write down all the things you hope to accomplish in your lifetime.   Make sure you allow yourself to dream fully.  No self-limiting thoughts here.  If you want to travel the world - put it down.  If you want to be at your childs wedding - put it down.  You should easily be able to list 100 items to your list.

If you are having difficulty consider the following:

1.  How much money do you want to make?  How will you manage your money (investments)?

2.  What do you want to have?  Material items?  Spritual benefits like “peace of mind?”

3.  What do you want to learn?  Who do you want as a teacher?  Where do you want to learn?

4.  Where do you want to go?  Remember, anywhere is fair game for dreaming.

5.  What will you do for fun?  Hint:  throw the TV away!

6.  How do you add value to society?  What contributions do you make?  Where do you want to volunteer?

7.  Where do you live?  What does your dream home - or maybe homes - look like?

8.  Who do you want to spend time with?

So take some time to dream today.  Get your bucket list down on paper and watch as you slowly but surely accomplish them. 

What items are on your bucket list?  I would love to see your top 10.  Have fun playing!

My husband accuses me of not being able to relax on a beach.  Sad as it sounds, he’s right.  I am not a sitter.  I maybe, in a bad week, watch 3 hours of TV.  I’m just busy doing something (although I have neglected my dust.)

So I run across an article today that says “How to Tie your Shoes in 9 Steps”.  Sure enough, there are nine steps regardless of whether you choose the standard shoe tying option or the bunny ears option (my personal favorite to this day.)  This is what is wrong with the world.  Not the bunny method, the shear fact that somebody has to write a step by step guide to something so…simple!  Obviously the article wasn’t meant for a child to read.  So no learning there.  It’s just another deterrent to actually DOING something!

Brian Tracy wrote a great little book called, Eat That Frog!  The subtitle is 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time.  Amen.  I don’t know one person who says, “Gee, I have all the time in the world and nothing to do.”  But rather than just taking action, we do the easy tasks and put off the tasks that are perhaps more challenging or difficult. 

This happens in home businesses all the time.  People get distracted by tasks that not only don’t move their businesses forward but actually set their businesses back.  Folks get so hung up WANTING the step by step details that they aren’t taking action.  Why?  I’m not sure.  Maybe they are afraid they will fail so using this “learning” excuse sounds valid.  Maybe they lack self-confidence and are not used to making decisions so it’s easier to just do a task or two rather than really step out into their greatness.  Maybe they aren’t able to prioritize what’s important so they do what is easy rather than what’s necessary.  Who knows.  Humans are an odd bunch sometimes.

But I do know this - you are either growing or you are dying.  Your business is either moving forward or it’s moving backwards.  Nothing is static.  (Thanks James Ray!)

Hold your focus on what is truly important.  Consider each task (briefly - don’t slide into  the “let me think about this” mode too long) and decide if it is an action that is helping your business.  If it’s not, but is something that needs to be done, then just do it as quickly as possible and move on.

Brian Tracy states in his book, “Here is one of the greatest questions you will ever ask and answer:  ‘What one skill, if I developed and did it in an excellent fashion, would have the greatest positive impact on my career?”  I can promise - yes I said promise - that if you put your attention on actions that are business building actions, on a daily basis, your business will move forward.  I can also, unfortunately, promise you that if you focus on the minutea, those tiny irrelevant details, your business will continue to suffer.

So if you are foturnuate enough to be in a business that has a solid system in place, by all means follow it!  Don’t concern yourself with the size of a label.  Your customers won’t care.  Don’t fret about which color bag you should put your product in.  Your customers won’t care.  But DO care about taking consistent and meaningful action, building relationships with your customers and prospects and having integrity throughout.  THOSE matter.  Those will move your business forward.

But above all, just do it already!  <smile>

I hate football.  So let’s just get that out of the way.  I could write at least 10 posts on my reasons but I’ll spare you.

The Minnesota Gopher’s (for those who love football as much as I, they are the football team for the University of Minnesota) just got a brand new stadium.  It looks, from all the pictures, to be a grand and glorious stadium and there is sure a lot of hub bub about it.  In fact, one coach went as far as saying having the new stadium will give them greater recruiting opportunities.  Really?  Whatever.

But this I LOVE!  Meet Grace Weet.  Grace lives in a quiet suburb of St. Paul and is 89 years young.  Grace attended the U of M as a freshman and in 1938 went to her first ever Gopher’s football game in the old Memorial Stadium.  She was a freshman then and decide to purchase season tickets.  Grace has purchased season tickets EVERY YEAR since 1938 and has attended every single home game that has ever been played - regardless of it’s venue.  She hasn’t missed a one.  Not one!  I don’t know how many games are in a season but I can figure out that she has been attending games for 71 years.  I certainly hope the Gopher’s honor her in some way for her steadfast dedication.

I just think, what would the world be like if everyone committed to something positive for 71 years (or however long they are around) and held onto the passion and determination that Grace Weet has displayed?  Wow, what a wonderful world we would live in!

Enjoy the game Grace.  For your sake I hope they win and I hope you are given the best seat in the house.  Heck, for that matter, they should give you a thrown for attending all those games!  Rock on girl!