Bonjour Messieursdames!  Comment ca va?  Moi?  Ca va bien merci!

I took French for several years in Jr. High and High School.  The problem is, I never went to France (or Quebec) and High School was about a hundred years ago.  So, needless to say, the few words I do recall are virtually useless in any type of conversation I would attempt.  I just can’t imagine the conversation turning to green hats!

I am, however, a big believer in feeding your mind.  So I decided earlier this year that I would relearn my French - at least enough to help me in my travels.  Now I don’t really have a trip planned to France or Montreal but you never know when I might decide to just hop on a plane and go - so best to be prepared right?

It doesn’t matter what you want to learn - just commit to learning something!  Pick an area that you are interested in that you either know nothing about or haven’t done in a million years.  Don’t limit yourself!  Maybe you want to learn how to kayak.  Find an outfitter and go for it.  Maybe you want to knit - buy some needles and teach yourself or take a class and get knitting (I need a new hat by the way).  Maybe you always wanted to learn Frisbee Golf - go to your local cheap store, buy one and hit the Frisbee links! 

What to expect on your new learning adventure?  Here’s a quick course on the learning curve.

Step one - you know nothing and don’t even know enough to know what you don’t know.  Sort of a blissful place really though you don’t really know anything.  Unconscious Incompetence.  An extreme example - you know there are other languages but never heard of French.

Step two - you know something about the new area of interest but have no idea how to actually DO anything.  Conscious Incompetence.  Example - you know French is spoken in France and Quebec (and a few other places) but you don’t know how to speak any French at all.  Sort of a frustrating place because you know there is more out there to learn but aren’t sure how to start.

Step three - you are learning a new skill but you have to consciously think about your new skill and the steps you are learning in order to perform your new skill.  Conscious Competence.  Example - you are learning to speak French but you have to really THINK in order to get the right words and grammar structure to form a proper sentence.  This place can be both very satisfying and very frustrating at times.

Step four - you are able to do the task without even thinking about it.  Unconscious Competence.  Example - someone asks you a question in French and you reply automatically without thinking about the proper use of words or grammar.  It just seems to come “naturally”.  Great place to be!

The great thing is that no matter WHAT you want to learn, you will go through those same steps.  I know you have heard it before, but in order to learn or “get better” you have to TAKE ACTION!  TAKE ACTION!  TAKE ACTION!  Just thinking about what you want to learn won’t transform those brain cells.  Only focused action will get you from point A to point B. 

So have some fun.  Learn something new.  ENJOY life to it’s fullest!

Au revoir! Bon apprentissage!

“In a land which is fully settled, most men must accept their local environment or try to change it by political means; only the exceptionally gifted or adventurous can leave to seek his fortune elsewhere. In America, on the other hand, to move on and make a fresh start somewhere else is still the normal reaction to dissatisfaction and failure.”    W.H. Auden

I had lunch with a friend recently and was bemoaning the fact that I had too many things going on.  I told her about the IRS, the death of my father-in-law, the enormous changes at my job (yep, that was like walking into work one day and being told from now on we will speak German - huh?), the ending of one business, the starting of another…and just day to day life.  Frankly I am surprised she stayed for her meal!  But after she patiently listened she gave me the best advice ever.  She said, “you just need to celebrate the Tibetan New Year.”

Well, I am not Tibetan but I got her message.  She was reminding me that I had choices.  And I could CHOOSE to just start fresh.  So that’s what I decided to do.  Admittedly, denial is my personal favorite when it comes to defense mechanisms, but these things were a little too big for my enormous powers of denial.  So I needed a plan.

Here it goes - maybe it will help you celebrate the Tibetan New Year as well.

1.  Purge all the crap you don’t need related to the issues at hand.  For me that meant cleaning my office and getting rid of everything that was related to my old business and anything related to the way I used to do my job.  Since the IRS woman reads my blog - have no worries, I didn’t purge any financial or business documents (that’s a little creepy by the way).

2.  Put your focus on what matters and what you can control.  I can’t change the fact that my father-in-law died, but I can focus on how to best help the family.  I can’t control the changes at work but I can do what I can to learn the new system to alleviate my stress.  I can control how I work my new business and set my goals to achieve success.  Let go of what you can’t control.

3.  Surround yourself with positive.  Whether you like to read or watch TV - make sure they are positive.  Watching the evening news does NOT qualify.  Well really TV doesn’t qualify in general.  Be around happy and positive people.  If you hang around a bunch of gripers you will find yourself focusing on all the negative rather than the positive.  Who wants that?

4.  Plan some fun.  It’s easy to have an extended pity party but really that doesn’t do you any good at all.  Go to a REAL party instead.  Have fun and get excited about all that life has to offer. 

5.  Consider volunteering your time to a worthy organization.  It is proven that people who volunteer are happier people.  You will feel good about what you are doing and probably leave feeling very appreciative of all that you do have in your life.

So, do as my friend says and celebrate the Tibetan New Year.  Well actually, it’s past, but you get the idea.  Make your own fresh start and feel good about your decision to CHOOSE to start fresh.

My next Toastmasters Speech…

Life is Like a Circus

Some Moms are soccer Moms. Some Moms are hockey Moms. Me, I am a circus Mom. I spend about 10 hours a week at the circus. The real circus. My 16 year old daughter has been going to a program in St. Paul called Circus Juventas for about 10 years now. She started by riding a unicycle and now takes many classes including Flying Trapeze. So over my 10 years I have had the privilege of learning many lessons from these talented students that apply to everyone’s life.

1. Take balance – just as my daughter learned to balance on a unicycle, we all have to learn balance in our lives. This sounds so much easier than it really is. But without balance, life loses some of it’s zest.

For several years I worked in the Hennepin County Attorney’s Office as a victim advocate. My caseload consisted of child sexual and physical abuse cases, working with children who had witnessed domestic violence and homicide cases. I really enjoyed this job but over time I lost my balance. Often we don’t really realize we are out of balance until something happens. In my case, I was standing in line waiting to order my daily large, skim vanilla latte with no foam when the lady in front on my turned around and said, “Hi, how are you?” Now, to most everyone else in the world this would be deemed as a nice comment. Me? I instantly thought the woman must be mentally ill. For nobody is THAT nice. Now I immediately realized my flawed thinking and laughed at myself – and put in my 2 weeks notice shortly after that.

We all need balance. In our physical health, mental health, family life, spiritual life, and fun! Without it – well, we think everyone ELSE is mentally ill!

2. Juggling – sometimes life just throws a lot our way and we have to decide which balls to catch. And even with our best efforts we may not catch them all. But organization and planning DO help. If you can look ahead a bit and plan for what’s coming your way, you are more likely to be able to juggle the many tasks at hand. Forget that multi-tasking idea. That was developed by some Corporate mucky-muck as a way to get more done. But in truth, steadfast focus will help you with all your juggling needs. After all, you don’t see a juggler multi-tasking! If all the balls were thrown in the air at once he or she would surely miss most of them.

3. Believe you can do anything! Well almost anything – we do want to avoid that whole mental illness aspect! Watching these kids try new acts and new equipment always amazes me. They go in believing that anything is possible. That they can fly through the air. That they can do aerial tricks 40 feet in the air. And it’s their belief that propels them forward. How often have you wanted to start something new but had that nagging voice in your head tell you “it’s just not possible.” Learn to ignore that dream stealer and believe that you can achieve your dreams and goals.

4. Take risks. I don’t mean the kind that are going to land you in prison so forget the bank heist. But think about your daily life. When is the last time you really took a risk and stepped outside your comfort zone? Probably not often if you really think about it. We are really creatures of habit and stepping outside of your comfort zone requires taking a risk and frankly that’s not usually all that comfortable. But without taking risks you are hindering your own personal growth. Now the kids at circus often have safety lines attached to them as they take risks but they still have to get past the mental aspect of taking the risk. As adults, we usually don’t have real safety lines but often have a support system that acts like a safety line, encouraging and cheering us on as we learn and grow.

Most, if not all of us, are in some type of business that requires interacting with people. What would your business look like if you took a risk and met just 2 new people a day? Got 2 more business cards a day from people that you aren’t currently doing business with? Would your business grow if you could expose your business to 250 new people a year? Would your sales be up? While taking risks can be scary, the benefits can be enormous!

5. Celebrate your success! As adults we often downplay our achievements. We may go out for dinner when we receive a promotion. Or we may get a pat on the back by a boss. But we really need to CELEBRATE! To achieve your goals you have had to put in a lot of time and effort to see the goal become reality. It’s not just a celebration of the end result but the journey along the way. Just as in circus where the students practice and practice, endure blisters and muscle pains, face their fears and do it all over again and again, we do the same when trying to accomplish our goals. So how do you get your “standing ovation?” What do you do to really acknowledge your journey?

6. And finally, have FUN! Make the most of any situation. If the situation just isn’t positive, find something to learn from the event. FIND something positive however small. There is almost always SOMETHING positive and let’s face it, fun is just more…fun!

So enjoy your own circus. As adults we tend to get wrapped up in the mundane. Take some time to think about your life. Do you live in balance? How’s your juggling? Do you believe? Are you taking risks? Are you celebrating your success? Are you having fun? If not, perhaps a visit to the circus is in order as the circus always brings out the best. And as they say at circus, “May all your days be circus days.”

So unless you live under a rock, you have probably heard at least some of the debate about what we are going to do about our health care system.  Certainly change comes with a cost - sometimes to our benefit…sometimes not.  But failing to change comes with a cost as well.

I have a friend whom I admire a great deal.  She is a strong, smart woman.  Who is married to a man who became ill.  As if the initial diagnosis wasn’t stressful enough, I am certain she would say “dealing with the system” was at least as stressful if not more so than the actual illness.

Case in point.  She was informed by the insurance company (yes, she is one of the fortunate who have insurance) that she needed to check every statement for accuracy.  Well if you have ever tried to read a medical statement you know they might as well have sent it in Russian.  Looks slightly familiar but who knows what it says.  She was, however, able to read a couple lines, one of which was a charge for $18.00 for 2 Tylenol.  Straight up over the counter - no codeine added.  $18.00 for 2.  Not sure about you, but I can get a bottle of something like 500 at my local Sams Club for 8.99.  Figure roughly 250 doses at $18.00 is $4500.  Yep, I had to do the math twice.  So for a bottle of Tylenol, the hospital is eventually collecting $4500.  Excuse the language, but that is a HELL of a profit.

So needless to say, if Tylenol costs $18.00, the actual treatment cost significantly more.  The hospital’s solution?  They told her she needed to turn over the Deed to her home.  This is so fundamentally wrong it makes my blood boil.  Here are hard working, smart, upstanding citizens who are basically being exploited during a time of crisis in their lives.  My friend, as I said, is strong.  I stand corrected, she is tough as nails.  I have no doubt she told them exactly what region of the universe they could relocate to.  And she didn’t turn over the Deed to her home.  But how many others aren’t that strong willed?  How many, in the face of crisis just do what they are told because they are worried about the life of their loved one?  Personally, I think this should be criminal.  As in a chargeable offense.  And I DARE a hospital to tell me ever to turn over the Deed to my home.  Trust me, I am a lot of things but quiet and passive aren’t two of them.

So, as you listen - and I hope you are - to the continuing debate, don’t forget the bigger picture.  While you may feel secure with your current health care situation, at any given moment, your family or friends may be faced with the unimaginable situation.

I hope you had the chance to see the movie Bucket List that came out a couple years ago.  It was an endearing story of friendship and the power of dreaming.  Well there are many stories of successful people who have written down a list of things they want to accomplish.  This isn’t as much an exercise in goal writing as it is dreaming.  The difference?  There really isn’t a plan written down - AT THIS POINT.  Obviously if you want to accomplish the items you will need a plan and that is where the more serious goal setting comes into play.  But for your bucket list you are just dreaming of things you want to have, experience or ensure.

It’s simple!  Just write down all the things you hope to accomplish in your lifetime.   Make sure you allow yourself to dream fully.  No self-limiting thoughts here.  If you want to travel the world - put it down.  If you want to be at your childs wedding - put it down.  You should easily be able to list 100 items to your list.

If you are having difficulty consider the following:

1.  How much money do you want to make?  How will you manage your money (investments)?

2.  What do you want to have?  Material items?  Spritual benefits like “peace of mind?”

3.  What do you want to learn?  Who do you want as a teacher?  Where do you want to learn?

4.  Where do you want to go?  Remember, anywhere is fair game for dreaming.

5.  What will you do for fun?  Hint:  throw the TV away!

6.  How do you add value to society?  What contributions do you make?  Where do you want to volunteer?

7.  Where do you live?  What does your dream home - or maybe homes - look like?

8.  Who do you want to spend time with?

So take some time to dream today.  Get your bucket list down on paper and watch as you slowly but surely accomplish them. 

What items are on your bucket list?  I would love to see your top 10.  Have fun playing!

When you are working your first job, you don’t believe you will ever make $30,00 or $50,000 or $100,000 a year.  When you are looking for a new home, you don’t believe you can own a million dollar mansion - and are happy when you are approved for a $200,000 starter home.  When are driving on the freeway and see the car of your dreams, in my case, a purple roadster, you say a quick prayer of gratitude that your car is paid for - but you don’t really believe you will ever have that dream car.

Why not?  Because we have placed limitations on our dreams.  Because it hasn’t happened before so we don’t really - and I mean REALLY - believe it will happen ever.  Sure, we might say, “I am going to have that car someday” but it’s a quick passing dream.

Take a quick inventory!  Quick, no cheating.  How much does your dream car cost?  How much does your dream home cost?  Where is the location of your dream vacation and what does that cost?

How BIG did you think?  Did you limit yourself to a boring sedan because it’s something that might come true?  Did you picture a nicer home but not a mansion?  Did you silently plan a trip to Disney when you could have had the white sands of Fiji?

To achieve BIG dreams you have to change the definition in your mind about what is possible.  Don’t limit yourself - because ANYTHING is possible.  Just ask our President!

Take some time for yourself today.  Go through old magazines or google images on the internet and find pictures to represent your new BIG dreams.  Post them in an area you will see your BIG dreams daily.  Eventually your mind will catch up and BELIEVE you can achieve those BIG dreams.

Dream big dreams! Imagine that you have no limitations and then decide what’s right before you decide what’s possible. - Brian Tracy

You know, we used to tease that the ones who could never commit were bachelors.  I am here to say they are not the only ones.

“There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.”  (Sorry, no author/speaker was cited.)

This is so true.  I am interested in losing weight (or really I would just like the weight to lose me!)  I am interested in developing an exercise plan.  I am interested in traveling the world.  Good interests I think.  But truth is, I am not COMMITTED - yet.

Anyone in Network Marketing knows - or will know - that to see success there must be commitment.  Not just occasional commitment but consistent and persistent commitment.  You have to show up.  You have to do the work.  You have to learn.  You have to develop yourself personally and professionally if you want to see success.

I know there are many who think they can just work the business on weekends.  They can.  The beauty of Network Marketing is that you have a whole lot of flexibility.  The downside is that you have a whole lot of flexibility for those who aren’t committed.  It’s sort of like trying to diet on the weekends only.  Sure, it’s better than nothing, but it’s going to take a whole lot longer to see any positive results.

So what’s your level of commitment?  I think we all fall into 1 of 4 categories…

1.  The fully committed (some call them crazy and rich!).  They consistently do the tasks necessary to move their businesses forward.  They stay connected and involved daily.  Their teams trust that they will be there for them as they learn and grow.

2.  Yo-Yo committers.  They are great and really working the business, life is good and success seems eminent.  Then, the next thing you know, they have dropped off the face of the earth into some dark abyss.  But no fear, yo-yo committers come back!  Their teams wonder what the heck happened?  They wonder if they did something wrong?  They don’t understand why one month they are getting lots of support and the next they are lost in the black hole.

3.  Chameleons - fake committers.  These folks act like they are committed but when pushed the truth comes out.  They have been talking the talk but not walking the walk.  This leaves teams confused and hurt.  Trust and integrity are lost.

4.  Cats - non-committers.  These are the folks who aren’t committed and make not bones about it.  They really just want product at a discount or to make a few extra bucks.  This leaves any team they may have (and they may not have any or they have a team by default) feeling a bit abandoned although at least, if communicated, the team members can contact upline for support.

So, do you have an interest in your home business or are you committed?  And if you are “committed”, then are you fully committed to building your business and supporting your team or are you a yo-yo, chameleon or cat?  Which type of leader would you want?

Good news!  Like always, today is a new day if your commitment hasn’t been where you would like it to be.  Make the change.  It really feels GOOD to make the commitment.

I just read a really great post on another blog (www.SidSavara.com) about personal development roadblocks and using “the situation” as an excuse.

In all honesty I never really thought about the actual excuses I am using or hearing from others, but he is right - often it is “the situation.”

Sid wrote, “Often however, I have found that “the situation” is an excuse used to avoid confronting a difficult problem that has a difficult, uncomfortable or uncertain solution. Rather than tackling the actual issue head on, we instead pretend there is no way to resolve some solvable problem, work around it and then say we “did our best, given the situation.”

Man is that the TRUTH! It’s just way to easy to blame the situation. Now in reality, there are times when “the situation” is unavoidable. But how many times is it just the easy out?

• “I couldn’t call leads today because of my schedule situation.”
• “I couldn’t lose weight because of the food situation at my job.”
• “I couldn’t build my business because of the money situation.”
• “I couldn’t go to the business event because of the family situation.”

Now, like I said, some of these may be completely true reasons. But who are those excuses hurting? And what is REALLY behind those excuses? Fear? Shame? Embarrassment? Lack of self-confidence?

Guess who is in charge of “the situation?” YOU ARE! You are DECIDING to allow “the situation” to control the outcome. It makes it safe. It’s not your fault. It’s okay. Or not. It just seems okay.

Aw heck. I’ll quit now because Sid says it really well. Read the article for yourself at: http://tr.im/situation

Enjoy!

Here’s some homework for you. Spend a day recording your thoughts. Nothing elaborate, just a simple checklist - positive/negative works for now. Although if you notice a pattern, it would be worth noting if you are repeatedly giving yourself the same negative messages throughout the day. Just for one day.

According to researchers, the average person speaks about 12,000 words an hour to themselves. So what ARE you saying to yourself? I would be willing to bet that you have some messages that are not helping you become the person you strive to be. How about messages like, “I can’t believe I am so stupid?” Or, “I am so fat!”

Your mind has incredible power! And keeping it positive will only help you grow. So what if you are (and we all do) giving yourself negative messages?

Note them. Then restate them in the positive. For example, if the message you keep hearing is, “I am terrible at this business!” Restate that to, “I am learning about my business and growing everyday.” If your message is, “I am a bad leader. Nobody wants to learn about the business from me.” Change that message to, “I enjoy helping my team learn and grow.”

Here’s the beauty - even if it doesn’t feel true TODAY, your mind can’t really tell the difference and when the message is repeated over and over again…We Believe and We Achieve. After all, isn’t that how we started believing the negative messages? We played them over and over again in our heads like a built in iPod.

Here’s the kicker - the part people start to groan about - only YOU can change the message. And it might take a great deal of effort on your part if a message is particularly ingrained. This is one area that no matter how you try, you can’t blame anyone else. Oh sure, you may have heard negative messages growing up or from a boss - but you hung on to them. Did you know research shows that for every negative comment received it takes 17 positive comments to counteract that negative statement (note to parents - watch what you say to your children!) That means you may have to do this exercise CONSISTENTLY, many times a day for many days before you mind starts to go, “Yeah, I am talented!”

The good news? YOU are so worth the effort. <smile>

I did something today that has been one of my goals for a long time but on my “chicken list” just as long.  I committed to attending a Toastmasters meeting.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Toastmasters (www.Toastmasters.org) , they are committed to helping you become the speaker and leader you want to be.  They started in 1924 at a YMCA and have now grown to over a quarter million members in over 12,000 chapters.  Funny really since the old saying goes most people would rather die than speak publicly.

At any rate, I am going.  Next Wed.  Now some people know this about me already - I really don’t like meetings.  I have sat in a million of them and 9 times out of 10 I could have used my time far more effectively if I had just said “no thanks, I’m busy.”  In fact, to this day I avoid them at almost any cost.  I realize this is in stark contrast to what is taught in Network Marketing - get on every call, go to every meeting, listen to everyone who has a bigger title than you….  I also realize I am not being a role model for my team (sorry team - I’ll try to make up for my deficits somewhere.)

So why, you might wonder, am I attending a Toastmasters meeting?  Simple!  I will hopefully learn to be a better speaker, presenter and leader.  I recently presented in Las Vegas and one of our company owners (the VP of Marketing) told me I am a good presenter with a “good storyteller’s voice.”  This from a man who has been named one of the top 10 industry trainers in the Country.  And I know he wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it - he’s not like that.  So that got me thinking.  Maybe I do have a little talent that could be turned into a bigger talent.  So here I am - faced with countless meetings.

Actually, I am excited to go.  I think I will learn a lot from these meetings and that it will turn out to be time well spent.  But I can tell you that at 11:45 am next Wed. as I meander toward my car, I will wish I was off speaking somewhere instead of going to a meeting (not quite ready to take death over a meeting - yet!)  <smile>  Maybe someone could send me a reminder email at 11:40 just to nudge me along.

My coffee buddy, Dennis, knows of my feelings about meetings and brought me a funny flier one day last summer…

Are you Bored?
Are you Lonely??

Don’t like working on your own?
Hate making decision?

THEN CALL A MEETING!!!!!

You can…

• See People
• Draw Flowcharts
• Feel Important
• Impress your Colleagues

ALL on Company Time!

MEETINGS - the Practival Alternative to Work.

Okay, so I know it’s not a great attitude, but we all have flaws - this would be one of mine.  Thankfully, having my own business I get to DECIDE if I want to be in a meeting rather than be TOLD I have to go to a meeting.  So I am making a CHOICE about Toastmasters and I know it will be beneficial to my personal growth.  Life is good!