Freedom On Toast

Ah, the sweet sound of cryptic phone calls.  “Five minutes.”  “Front door.”  “$5.00″  It must be the start of the school year.  That glorious time of year when the weather changes, the trees begin to change and children across the country are back in school.

Throughout the summer, we, as parents, have been subjected to the tormenting words of those “wiser” that warned, “children will forget everything they learned last year over the summer.”  We scurried to find just the right camp.  We planned educational outings to ensure our children’s brain cells would remain intact.  We made weekly trips to the library that were preceeded by weekly arguments about the importance of reading.

THEN, as school was quickly approaching, those “wiser” warned, “going back to school is a time of transition.”  “Children will experience stress due to the change in their schedule.”  “They may need additional sleep because of all the new social situations they will encounter.”

Well, being an egomaniac for a day allows me to say this - “Today is about ME!”  I will once again be the master of my calendar.  The captain of my own adventure from sunrise to sunset (okay, maybe just 7:00-3:00.)

Not ONCE over the past three months have I heard someone - anyone - ”wiser” say anything like, “parents will experience a sense of disorganization as they are pulled in six directions to simultaneously go to the zoo, play taxi driver to a friends home across town, pack a picnic for the backyard Barbie party, paint fingernails, take the dog on a walk and stage an all out attack with little army men!”  Not once did I hear, “yes, you will have all the responsibilities you have everyday of your life PLUS a zillion more for the next three months.”

So I declare today, a day for all parents to enjoy.  A day to be an egomaniac for the day.  Do something fun!  Reconnect with your old pal your calendar.  Call a friend.  Write in your over-neglected blog.

But don’t forget to have that plate of cookies and a hefty chunk of time set aside around 3:00 to make sure all is well in the world.  The first day of school is exciting for all of us!

PS - you can only be an egomaniac today.  Anything beyond that and we will talk about you when you aren’t paying attention.

Now, I have to say, I have yet to meet someone who says, “I want nothing more out of life but complete and utter saddness.”  Thankfully, I might add.  But as a culture, do you know what US parents want most for their children?  Parents want their children to be happy.  Fair enough.  And I have to say on the surface, I agree.  Of course we want our children to be happy.

Interestingly, other cultures, when studied, value other assets.  Like education.  Like “success.”

But in the US we want our kids to be happy.  What is a bit more alarming is how “happy” is defined.  Happy is defined using 4 catagories:

1.  Personal Looks - Really?  Gee, I can’t imagine why us folks in the US are concerned about our looks?  Okay, I am kidding.  It’s great to look good.  It makes you feel good when you look good.  But are we really THAT shallow?  Ugh.  I guess if we look at the magazines with the top sales we would have to admit that personal looks are important to us.  I guess it’s what motivates some to seek the $500.00 haircut.

2.  Performance - How many awards do you have?  How many certificates of recognition?  If you have ever had a youngster in sports, you KNOW how we play this up.  Your kid can be the worse soccer player in town but at the end of the season, he or she is sure to receive a trophy or award of some type.  Now don’t get me wrong, recognition IS important.  We all want to be recognized for our achievements - and deservedly so.  It’s just those times when we really don’t deserve it that fuels this false sense of importance.  Then we wonder why people have moved to this attitude of entitlement - duh!

3.  Popularity - Having just survived the lastest round of homecoming royalty, I can say - that at least if you are a high schooler - popularity is more important than…texting.  Okay, not quite.  Although the two sometimes go hand in hand.  How many text buddies do you have?  I am willing to bet there are a fair number of readers who have never sent or received a text.  But ask the nearest teenager and they can text faster than a legal secretary with 20 years experience!  And this is a good thing?  Hmmmm.  And don’t start me on the lack of proper grammer!  4COL ICEDI  (For the textually challanged visit http://www.webopedia.com/quick_ref/textmessageabbreviations.asp - it will help you understand the new world.)

4.  Possessions - I almost (note almost) don’t have to say anything here as it is so self-explanitory.  But with the holidays just around the corner, we will be bombarded by the media and our darlings for the latest, greatest, coolest stuff the developers of the world can throw at us.  I can promise that the “hottest ticket” will be nearly impossible to secure.  But the kid who gets lucky and actually gets the coolest gift will rule the kid world for at least a day.

So it brings me back to the beginning.  We all want our kids to be happy.  But is it really the personal looks, performance rewards, popularity contests and possessions that bring about happiness?  Man do I hope not.  So what REALLY makes a kid happy?  I think Mr. Rogers knew.  Kids want to be loved, they want to know they are valued and they want to know they are not alone.  Thank goodness.  I was getting worried for a minute.

So you want a happy kid today?  Hang out with them in a super cool way.  Even my sometimes reluctant teen still loves some “mom time” - and a little ice cream never hurts either.