Freedom On Toast

My daughter came home from school today and told me that she had a story to tell me about.  She was excited because the story had to go with goals.  And she proceeded to tell me the story of Billie Mills.

Do you know Billie Mills?  Many of you may not.  I certainly didn’t.  Billie reached his goal the year I was born.  1964. 

If you read yesterday’s post you know it was about using “the situation” as an excuse.  Well Billie had plenty of opportunities to use “the situation” but had been taught - challenged even  - to follow his dreams, reach for his goals, and succeed in life.  Billie’s life wasn’t easy.  He is a Oglala Lakota (Sioux) who was grew up in South Dakota.  His mother died when he was just 7 and his father died when he was 12, leaving him to grow up in an orphanage.

Young Billie was a boxer who was running as part of his training.  Over time he found that he enjoyed running more than boxing and began to place his focus on improving his running.  And  continued running until he eventually qualified for the olympics to be held in 1964 in Tokyo, Japan.

Billie had not been expected to win anything.  Some were surprised he was even running.  No American had ever won this event.  But what they didn’t know was that Billie had long used visualization and had seen a young Lakota boy winning the 10K event.    He had written GOLD MEDAL in his notebooks.  And when negative thoughts or doubt crept in he spent hours making sure his goal was firmly and positively back in place in his mind.

But when the time for the race came, the two top contenders raced ahead.  As Billie ran, he paced himself and kept steady and everyone expected the two top guys to get the Gold and Silver.  Billie, in his mind, would not accept Bronze.  As the end neared and the stands were filled with mostly quiet Japanese citizens, something changed.  Billie started edging closer and closer to overcoming the two contenders and the crowd went wild!  Billie kept his pace and won the Gold Medal - even breaking a new world record.  Billie had a goal and had accomplished the goal he had set.

To this day, no American has won the Gold Medal in the 10K  event except for Billie Mills.

In Lakota culture, when one has achieved success, it is customary to have a “giveaway.”  In the spirit of the culture, Billie helped found Running Strong for American Indian Youth, an organization that provides many services to underserved American Indian communities.

To learn more about Billie Mills or the Running Strong for American Indian Youth organization, visit:  http://www.indianyouth.org/

Hang on to those dreams - spend time on your goals.

I just read a really great post on another blog (www.SidSavara.com) about personal development roadblocks and using “the situation” as an excuse.

In all honesty I never really thought about the actual excuses I am using or hearing from others, but he is right - often it is “the situation.”

Sid wrote, “Often however, I have found that “the situation” is an excuse used to avoid confronting a difficult problem that has a difficult, uncomfortable or uncertain solution. Rather than tackling the actual issue head on, we instead pretend there is no way to resolve some solvable problem, work around it and then say we “did our best, given the situation.”

Man is that the TRUTH! It’s just way to easy to blame the situation. Now in reality, there are times when “the situation” is unavoidable. But how many times is it just the easy out?

• “I couldn’t call leads today because of my schedule situation.”
• “I couldn’t lose weight because of the food situation at my job.”
• “I couldn’t build my business because of the money situation.”
• “I couldn’t go to the business event because of the family situation.”

Now, like I said, some of these may be completely true reasons. But who are those excuses hurting? And what is REALLY behind those excuses? Fear? Shame? Embarrassment? Lack of self-confidence?

Guess who is in charge of “the situation?” YOU ARE! You are DECIDING to allow “the situation” to control the outcome. It makes it safe. It’s not your fault. It’s okay. Or not. It just seems okay.

Aw heck. I’ll quit now because Sid says it really well. Read the article for yourself at: http://tr.im/situation

Enjoy!

No, it’s not New Years. No, I am not talking about the superficial goals - or rather wishes - that we throw about sometimes. I am talking GOALS!

There was an interesting study that was done (maybe - more on that later.) In this “study”, Harvard MBA students were asked if they had clear, written goals for their future and plans to achieve them. Only 3% stated they had clear, written goals with plans. Another 13% stated they had goals in their head and a whopping 84% had no goals whatsoever (makes you wonder what they teach at Harvard!)

Ten years later, the former MBA students are reinterviewed about their goals and accomplishments. Among the results are that the 13% who had goals (but not written) were earning twice as much as the 84% who didn’t have goals. But - and here’s the message - the 3% who had written goals were earning 10 times as much as the 97% put together!

That alone should have you reaching for paper and a pencil.

So why doesn’t everyone have written goals?

• They don’t realize the importance of written goals.
• They don’t know how to write goals or write goals that are too general.
• They fear failure.
• They fear rejection.

Just do it! You really have nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain.

If you really don’t know how to write goals or realize the importance, there are a couple of great resources. My favorite is a little book - truly a gem - called The Oracle’s Secret by Anthony Fernando. It is one of the best investments I ever made and it’s easy enough that the whole family can get in on goal writing - or scroll writing as the case is with this book. You can pick this up at www.Nexera.com

Of course there is Brian Tracy’s GOALS as well. The library or local bookstore should have a copy on hand for you.

Now, remember how I said earlier that there was a “study” done? Well, as it turns out, there may not have ever been that study. It has been cited as happening at Yale in 1953 in some sources and Harvard in 1979 in other sources. Some claim to have thoroughly researched the history and found neither actually did this study.

But here’s the bottom line - who cares. If the study was done then great. If the study hasn’t been done then it should be. But regardless, there isn’t a personal development expert anywhere that will tell you, “just keep your goals in your head.”

• Write them. And make plans.
• Review them daily.
• Achieve them and enjoy.

That’s the recipe for success!

Here’s some homework for you. Spend a day recording your thoughts. Nothing elaborate, just a simple checklist - positive/negative works for now. Although if you notice a pattern, it would be worth noting if you are repeatedly giving yourself the same negative messages throughout the day. Just for one day.

According to researchers, the average person speaks about 12,000 words an hour to themselves. So what ARE you saying to yourself? I would be willing to bet that you have some messages that are not helping you become the person you strive to be. How about messages like, “I can’t believe I am so stupid?” Or, “I am so fat!”

Your mind has incredible power! And keeping it positive will only help you grow. So what if you are (and we all do) giving yourself negative messages?

Note them. Then restate them in the positive. For example, if the message you keep hearing is, “I am terrible at this business!” Restate that to, “I am learning about my business and growing everyday.” If your message is, “I am a bad leader. Nobody wants to learn about the business from me.” Change that message to, “I enjoy helping my team learn and grow.”

Here’s the beauty - even if it doesn’t feel true TODAY, your mind can’t really tell the difference and when the message is repeated over and over again…We Believe and We Achieve. After all, isn’t that how we started believing the negative messages? We played them over and over again in our heads like a built in iPod.

Here’s the kicker - the part people start to groan about - only YOU can change the message. And it might take a great deal of effort on your part if a message is particularly ingrained. This is one area that no matter how you try, you can’t blame anyone else. Oh sure, you may have heard negative messages growing up or from a boss - but you hung on to them. Did you know research shows that for every negative comment received it takes 17 positive comments to counteract that negative statement (note to parents - watch what you say to your children!) That means you may have to do this exercise CONSISTENTLY, many times a day for many days before you mind starts to go, “Yeah, I am talented!”

The good news? YOU are so worth the effort. <smile>

I read this quote this morning:

“All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”

Schopenhauer (German Philosopher)

And so is the path of the Network Marketer.

In Vegas we heard Michael Clouse talk about why people quit the business.  Statistically when someone quits the business in the first 90 days it is because someone told them Network Marketing is bad.

What a shame.  These poor folks didn’t even have a chance to experience success on any larger level in that time period.  Many distributors have heard from loved ones, friends and acquaintances that their new business is a scam.  That they are involved in a pyramid scheme.  That they are stupid if they think something like this will work.

These hurtful words are often enough to push the distributor to “close the shop doors” for good.  THEY aren’t going to be called stupid again.  THEY aren’t going to be ridiculed like that again.

But what’s really behind those hurtful words?  Maybe the speaker had been involved in a business that didn’t go as planned themselves.  Maybe they have a basement full of products they couldn’t sell.  Maybe they were with a company or sponsor that vanished as soon as they signed on the dotted line.  Or maybe they don’t want to see the new distributor succeed where they have failed.

It takes a lot of fortitude for a new distributor to hear those types of comments and commit to working their business anyway.  They must have focus and determination and “thick skin” to endure the difficult comments.  And they must BELIEVE for if they don’t, the first sign of difficulty will have them agreeing with the naysayers.

Next, the distributor will experience “violent opposition.”  Now, I have never been punched over having a business but I have certainly dealt with opposition on many levels - from speaking with friends and family to speaking with leads who have incorrect information about network marketing.  A little education can go a long way in overcoming opposition.  And again, YOUR focus, ability to get things done, and belief will get you through the rough times.

Finally, we come to a point when your network marketing business is accepted and the previous myths that were held are dispelled.  After all, if Warren Buffett and Donald Trump can be involved in network marketing it can’t be all bad! 

There is certainly a sense of satisfaction when you reach the point when people are asking about your business and surprised and happy to hear of your success.  This isn’t an “I told you so” moment - that won’t help anyone.  But rather a moment of appreciation when you realize you have achieved a certain level of respect for going out on a limb and trying that crazy business - and succeeding!

For those of you who are newer distributors, keep the faith!  You came into the business for a very personal reason and YOU have the ability to see it through.  Keep your support close, your focus sharp and your belief strong as you reach for the stars.

I did something today that has been one of my goals for a long time but on my “chicken list” just as long.  I committed to attending a Toastmasters meeting.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Toastmasters (www.Toastmasters.org) , they are committed to helping you become the speaker and leader you want to be.  They started in 1924 at a YMCA and have now grown to over a quarter million members in over 12,000 chapters.  Funny really since the old saying goes most people would rather die than speak publicly.

At any rate, I am going.  Next Wed.  Now some people know this about me already - I really don’t like meetings.  I have sat in a million of them and 9 times out of 10 I could have used my time far more effectively if I had just said “no thanks, I’m busy.”  In fact, to this day I avoid them at almost any cost.  I realize this is in stark contrast to what is taught in Network Marketing - get on every call, go to every meeting, listen to everyone who has a bigger title than you….  I also realize I am not being a role model for my team (sorry team - I’ll try to make up for my deficits somewhere.)

So why, you might wonder, am I attending a Toastmasters meeting?  Simple!  I will hopefully learn to be a better speaker, presenter and leader.  I recently presented in Las Vegas and one of our company owners (the VP of Marketing) told me I am a good presenter with a “good storyteller’s voice.”  This from a man who has been named one of the top 10 industry trainers in the Country.  And I know he wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it - he’s not like that.  So that got me thinking.  Maybe I do have a little talent that could be turned into a bigger talent.  So here I am - faced with countless meetings.

Actually, I am excited to go.  I think I will learn a lot from these meetings and that it will turn out to be time well spent.  But I can tell you that at 11:45 am next Wed. as I meander toward my car, I will wish I was off speaking somewhere instead of going to a meeting (not quite ready to take death over a meeting - yet!)  <smile>  Maybe someone could send me a reminder email at 11:40 just to nudge me along.

My coffee buddy, Dennis, knows of my feelings about meetings and brought me a funny flier one day last summer…

Are you Bored?
Are you Lonely??

Don’t like working on your own?
Hate making decision?

THEN CALL A MEETING!!!!!

You can…

• See People
• Draw Flowcharts
• Feel Important
• Impress your Colleagues

ALL on Company Time!

MEETINGS - the Practival Alternative to Work.

Okay, so I know it’s not a great attitude, but we all have flaws - this would be one of mine.  Thankfully, having my own business I get to DECIDE if I want to be in a meeting rather than be TOLD I have to go to a meeting.  So I am making a CHOICE about Toastmasters and I know it will be beneficial to my personal growth.  Life is good!

• She wants to write out her goals.  This from a 15 year old.
• She wants to spend tonight at a BOOKSTORE with a boy she likes.  A BOOKSTORE!  This from my kid who would have chosen to eat eel guts over read a book just a couple months ago.  She says this morning, “I really like reading!”  Once I regained consciousness, I agreed to drive her to any bookstore in the State of Minnesota - her choice!